Hey,

Originally, before the start of my trip, a friend explained to me that he was to drive a clapped out Saab 900 from the UK to Naples in Italy. He gave me a spare set of keys and we discussed the prospect of locating the vehicle after he had flown home, and I driving it back. That would have been cool. Although, I did have ideas that he would have left something unsavoury to fester in the car especially for my discovery.
Anyhow, for whatever reason the banger didn't survive the journey, and I couldn't drive back, I had to fly from Rome Ciampino airport.

The day before my flight, I picked up some cardboard boxes from a hardware store waste bin. Two boxes stored my bike perfectly, one for the wheels, and the other for the frame. I strapped the card to the back of my bike and rode 80km, with my new super-spoiler keeping the downforces ultra-strong. The image was pretty funny to both myself, and undoubtedly, passing drivers. I kept having ET like thoughts of flying home on my new plane-bike. Unfortunatley, this too did not happen.

The next morning at the check-in desk I disassembled my bike, packed it up, and then realised I had no tape to fasten the boxes. With 200 people queueing behind me in some kind of absurd, modern-day, airport security fiasco from hell, I coolly persuaded the lovely check-in girl to assist me with a roll of baggage tags. For 10 minutes, I could hear disgruntled sighs as Magdallena and I pasted my bike boxes together. Hell! I enjoyed the exercise. My fellow passengers probably did not. But I was broke, hungry, and did not care, especially after I noticed that I would arrive in Liverpool thirsty too, due to the water carrying restrictions that are now in force. If people ever suggest that art is absurd, and ridiculous, like this for example:

Dali

Or this:

Duchamp

Then I feel that Airport security is equally, if not more absurd and ridiculous than any Dada installation. I mean, I can't drink water, yet I can keep my shoes? Oh well. You know, Napoleon once said "From the sublime to the Absurd, is but a step".

My baggage at liverpool arrived ok. However, and again, for reasons absurd, My foldable coffee mug vanished? Did it post a 'tourist threat'? Yet my Swiss army knife didn't? Pfff! My Uco candle lantern was not so lucky. Man Down>>

Perhaps it was for the best. My lantern was good for a while. However, I figured that tea lights do an equally good job and are dirt cheap. So, God rest its' soul, burn brightly amongst the stars in heaven..

My Teflon cooking pots started out like the one on the left, and finished like the one on the right:

Not that I didnt know this would happen. I have non-stick innards now, but pot cleaning was easy, and I never once burned a meal.

What was most appropriate I think, was the morning after condition of my bike tyres. They simply gave up the will to live. Like conan on the tree of woe...Like the starship enterprise after a dose of Warp Speed 9... Like Devon Loch in the Grand National 10 strides from home...

Remember people, To be rich nowadays merely means to posess a large number of poor objects.